Saturday night at 8 o'clock discovered me not at the films but at the Cinema Museum, a hidden gem near the Oval cricket ground in South London, situated in a previous workhouse which was quickly home to the young Charlie Chaplin after his mother fell on tough times.

Truth be informed, I seldom venture south of the river. As Dave, from the Winchester Club, warned Arthur Daley: 'Lot of really wicked people' in Sarf Lunnon.

Coincidentally, the celebration was a one-man program by my old mate George Layton, actor, director, scriptwriter, author, whose finest hour - at least to my mind - was playing Des, the dodgy vehicle mechanic in Minder.

George read from his collection of narratives set in the 1950s, when he was growing up in post-war Bradford. They're wonderfully written, warm, funny, expressive, a slice of history, a working-class version of Richmal Crompton's Just William adventures.

The storylines are based upon the trials and tribulations of a kid being brought up by a single mom - a non-traditional family life back then, regretfully just too typical today. The Fib And Other Stories has been in print because 1975 and discovered its way on to the school curriculum, where it stays today.

I can't assist wondering, though, how frequently these marvelous texts are used in class these days, in between teachers packing their pupils' little heads with trendy far-Left propaganda about 'white benefit', manifest destiny and, of course, environment .

The kids in the monochrome school photograph which formed the background to George's reading were definitely white, but nobody might have explained them as privileged. Those were the days when 'austerity' meant living from hand to mouth, not having to settle for a standard 50in flat screen TV, rather of a 65in OLED Ultra design, and just being able to pay for an iPhone 14 instead of the most recent all-singing, all-dancing AI version.

Child hardship was genuine, bread-and-dripping, holes-in-your-shoes things, not dining on Deliveroo and reluctantly wearing last season's Nike fitness instructors.

Until the digital/social media transformation, kids gained their knowledge mostly from books, composes Littlejohn

In the 1950s, children experienced authentic difficulty, not the poverty of aspiration and imagination which blights this generation, through no fault of their own. Today, kids live through their mobile phones, instead of strolling totally free and experiencing life to the full.

Until the digital/social media revolution, kids got their knowledge primarily from books. Yes, TV played a big function, as did the films, however no place near the dominance of TikTok and other apps providing pleasure principle in byte-sized portions.

And how can squinting at the latest CGI produced hit on a mobile phone a couple of inches large ever compare to the kind of old-school, cinema, Technicolor and Cinemascope, best-out-of-Hollywood experience celebrated at the Cinema Museum?

It can't. Just as the very best photos are stated to be on the radio, even much better images can be found in the printed word.

Among the most dismaying things I have actually read recently was the author Anthony Horowitz bemoaning the fact that his 300-page books are far too long to engage the much shorter attention spans these days's children.

No marvel kid, and certainly adult, literacy levels have dropped amazingly. All this has actually contributed to the shocking discovery that white, working class pupils - boys in particular - are being left behind. Even Labour's Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson has actually been forced to admit they have been 'betrayed' by the contemporary schools system.

They suffer from a lack of parental involvement and ensuing scarceness of aspiration. The white, working class kid in George Layton's stories definitely didn't suffer any parental neglect from his prideful mum. Nor did he do not have creativity or aspiration.

Education was the escape of hardship. It produced eloquent wordsmiths like George, in post-war Bradford - and our own dear Keith Waterhouse, late of this parish, who grew up in poverty in nearby pre-war Leeds.

Literacy is the biggest present we can bestow on any kid. My grannies taught me to read before I went to school, setting me on the early roadway to a fulfilling career at the wordface instead of the relative drudgery of the work environment.

George Layton is thinking about taking his one-man show on the road, to small provincial theatres. I have actually got a better idea.

If the Education Secretary wishes to reverse the betrayal of white, working class kids she could begin by getting the phone and inviting George to tour schools, checking out from his narratives.

I honestly think that if they might be convinced to search for from their mobiles for an hour, they 'd be enthralled and inspired by the adventures of a young kid not that various to them, in spite of the range in years.

You never ever understand, there may even be another Charlie Chaplin amongst them.

When they're not tasering one-legged 92-year-old guys or nicking individuals for publishing hurty words on the web, the authorities are increasingly taking second tasks to supplement their earnings.

Some are working as painters and designers, others as scaffolders nand shipment motorists. More intriguingly, sidelines likewise consist of a DJ (PC Hammer, anyone?) and a reiki trainer, whatever that is.

My favourites are beekeeper and kickboxing coach, although the copper running a tea shop needs to take the biscuit.

It's also reported that some officers are working as supermarket checkout assistants. I do not expect there's any danger of them nicking a few thiefs.

Mind how you go.

RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Couple in their 70s who purchased an infant from a complete stranger are selfish in the severe

First the frogs, now the octopuses The prohibited migrant armada crossing the Channel daily might end up being the least of our problems. We now learn that a fleet of foreign octopuses from the Med is devouring crab stocks off the coast of Devon and Cornwall and threatening to put local fishermen out of business.

It's bad enough French trawlers hoovering up our fish without migrant molluscs helping themselves to what's left.

We're also informed that parakeets from India and Pakistan are an 'unstoppable invasive species' having escaped into the wild and are colonising cities as far afield as Plymouth and Aberdeen. No doubt we'll be putting them up in the nearest Holiday Inn eventually.

And that's before I get to the buzzard that's been dive-bombing kids in a school playground in Romford, Essex. Where the hell did that come from?

We have actually got enough problem with home-grown Stuka-style pigeons without importing kamikaze buzzards.

Take Labour's 'ambition' to spend a pathetic 3 per cent of GDP on defence by the year 2525 with a shovel-load of Maldon's finest. The method Rachel From Complaints is taxing the economy to death, there won't be any GDP left in a couple of years' time. And three percent of stuff all is still pack all.

AN NHS cosmetic surgeon who compared Islamist terrorists to the Nazis has been struck off. If he 'd said the same about those people who want to leave the European yuman rites convention, Surkeir would have made him Chief law officer.

Having recently claimed that the initial ancient Britons were black, the woke revisionists now declare the Vikings were Muslims. Don't these individuals ever take a day of rest?